Tonight I Wanna Cry
by Rakki-Gesakusha
Summary: Started as a oneshot songfic...now it's a four chapter story. Chapter four is up! come and read it! Thank you so much for ze reviews! That's what kept this going!
1. Chapter 1

_Hello. Thanks for coming, er...reading. -; Anyway, I hope you enjoy it, it is my first completed fanfic, so I hope it is alright. Also, I hope you guys don't mind reviewing two. Thanks._

_Disclaimer: I don't own this -sadly- though I REALLY wish I did._

Warnings; No lemon or anything. It's just a little sad.

Tonight I Wanna Cry  
By: Rakki-gesakusha

_Even here. Even in my own home HE follows me_. The stray thought set the bottle that should already have been consumed to the thin lips that had, only a few weeks early been holding so much joy. _Joy that he had so easily brought to me. A smile was all he had needed_. Without even realizing it, the bright crimson colored eyes, holding only anger mere seconds ago had faded to an almost...loving expression. Kurama...The thought brought both feelings of desire and love as well as a bitter and hot anger back to me. Why had he done that! That was the simple question; Why? Everything that had ever plagued me had been Why and even now the gods, the devil, whoever it was that I begged to show me the answer refused me, even laughing and bringing about more questions of Why.

It was truly a scary revelation, and one that I had had no wish to learn, and that had been forced upon me in the most cruel of all manners. Along with that, another revelation had plagued me upon the same time, just burning deeper into my brain the truth of the matter that I had so diligently refused to see. They Lie. Everyone does it, and no one EVER means what they say. "I love you." Simply means I will love you until someone better comes along. "I need you." Means, I need you to make my lust satated and to be willing to stick around until someone else comes along. "I want you" means that I want you as long as no one better comes along to want.

No actual pictures adorn the walls of my abode. It isn't needed. I simply need the memories of what has happened. That is all. They follow me even into the privatest of place. Get to me even in my darkest of moods, and break me apart. _Strong._ I tell myself. _Be STRONG_. But how do you be strong when your very foundation is ripped from beneath your feet? When your entire life flashes before your eyes and is gone in a heartbeat. Kurama had shown me what I had wanted in life, that I was something more then the ruthless killing machine that I had been made out to be. He had even taught me something that I had thought was beyond the grasp of my fingers-Love. That four letter word which you allow to happen. To manifest beginning with a small crush and grow until it consumes your entire body and you become a nonsense babbling, fluttering fool with nothing better to do then to follow whomever has captured your affections so and rendered you impossible to change the course of your actions and the words that tumbled so freely from your mouth around said person again.

I once again brought the drink to my lips, downing the rest of the amber liquid in a quick swig that was slowly beginning to help me lose sense of the conscious world and forget the pain that was building behind the wall I had built around my so called heart. I had walled off my heart to protect myself from the pain that people so easily brought to this world, but you somehow managed to wriggle through the cracks. The cracks that I had unbiddenly left open to one such as yourself. Cracks that-had I known they were there-surely would have been packed away beneath the layer of cold and uncaring that had rendered all other helpless to enter, to gain a place in my soul, to be one that I relied on wholly and who I believed would not leave only damage and destruction behind in the place I had fought so hard to protect.

I believed it had been you. I was wrong. The destruction that you have left inside of me was long and will not heal easily nor quickly if it ever does. I am reaching the point where I fully believe that it won't happen at all. The visions of what could maybe have been. Of what you had told me you had wanted fills my brain and slowly eats me up, tearing me piece from piece until I am but a simple man, drinking away my troubles with bottle after bottle of sake. The stuff is ningen, but about twice as powerful as any demon thing I could get my hands on, and within moments I am nearly past the point of "heavily drunk." I am positively drunk, and not even the swirling fog that has come to be my mind has changed my thoughts. I am still very aware of my "Kurama dreams." As I have come to call them for dreams they are, were, and forever will be.

Why, Kurama, why did you walk away? My eyes burn with anger or something that I've never really felt before-tears. I hate you and even so I love you still. This isn't fair. I can't believe you've done this to me!

_/Alone in this house again tonight  
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine  
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me  
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me  
I'll never get over you walkin' away/_

The pain and drunkenness of my body caused an unwanted reaction. A dry sob slipped from between my lips. No...I've never cried before, or even let my pain show but this...this was TO MUCH. I had thought...or perhaps Hadn't Thought would be the better terminology for it well either way, I had believed that you had cared. Perhaps I had been blinded by my own foolish desires of wanting SOMEONE to care for me that I hadn't thought of what TRULY was your beliefs? That thought alone caused massive heartache. Another dry sob left my pale lips, and I couldn't help it.

"K'rama you b'stard! This is yur fault!" The slurred words rang into the empty stillness, disrupting nothing and yet they seemed to linger. They hung suspended by the silence that closed in about me, threatening to eat my very soul. To crush the very air from my lungs until I remained no more except as a mere shell. A hollow container of my once full self that had longed for the ability to prove my worth to those whom had believed I was worth nothing. I new the thought was foolish, that it wouldn't happen, that they would never believe it at all until the moment my sword stroke landed in their flesh, creating a cut and ruby blood oozed out, causing them to inhale wildly with their eyes wide.

The thought brought a brief sadistic smile to my face. Oh, what I would do to you Kurama if only I had the guts. But who am I kidding? I have neither the guts nor truly the will to harm you in any bodily way. You have become as untouchable as my sister, and this alone will protect you from whatever I wish to do to you at the moment. I could never go through with it, the same way that I could never harm my sister for a single thing that she says. It simply wouldn't be allowed.

The smile-however sadistic-melted from my face as images of you and the elation I had felt being wrapped up securely inside of your arms slid into my brain. For the first time in my entire life, I felt my knees being pulled against my chest as if I was being moved by a force other then my own. Without another thought, I felt the pent-up water behind my eyes slowly begin leaking out of my eyes, streaking down my face. Shame filled me so quickly, that I could do naught but bury my face inside the protective covering of my pants and shield my face from the world that had cut me down so many times.

_I AM WEAK._ The words hit me like a tidal wave, and I knew them to be true. I knew what strong was. Strong was the ability to control myself at all times. Strong was the wish to never let anyone else see me as I truly was, a fool who had been hurt to many times. But as the tears began to fall, I knew this was what I wanted. No, what I had needed. I buried my face against my pants and allowed my tears to fall.

_/I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show  
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self control  
But I'm just strong enough to let go of my pain  
To Hell with my pride let it fall like rain  
From my eyes  
Tonight i wanna cry/_

As I cried, I remembered...there was the letter. Perhaps some sign that Kurama had been about to do this would be written on there. As quickly as I could I searched through the fabric of my cloak and found what I was looking for. A slightly worn piece of faded notebook paper was pulled free, torn off from one of notebooks for Kurama's school work. Unfolding it, and flattening it out, I read;

_Hiei,_

_My love, it's only been a few days since we have spoken. Not even a full two days, and already I miss you terribly. I want to see you again, to have you sleep besides me once more. I love holding you in my arms, to feel your soft breathing. It brings true happiness to my dreams at night and I long to stroke your beautiful flawless skin._

_You probably think I am being horribly cliched, but it is true, I miss you terribly. I bet you've already wadded this up, but I want you to know how much I truly feel for you. I love you so much my Koishii and I want you to believe me...-_

The rest of the letter became unrecognizable for the tears that flooded my eyes causing me to stop reading it. He acted as if he really loved me. As if nothing like this had really entered his mind. Wiping my eyes carefully, I sat up and looked to the rest of the letter. I WOULD finish reading this if it was the last thing I'd do.

_...I probably shouldn't have wasted so much time writing to you, but I miss you terribly, and writing to you helps me deal with it. You told me you'd be back soon, and I am relieved that tomorrow you should be here before I get back home. That thought alone is enough to brighten even my most awful of moods._

_Well, since you have probably decided that this is pointless to read, I shall wrap it up. I just want to say I love you once more._

_Love Always,_

_Kurama_

Not one sign. Not a single one that you had even thought of doing such a thing to me. Closing my eyes I took a few deep breaths trying to calm myself, but to no avail. I simply wouldn't find peace this night. Closing my eyes, I allowed the tears to just continue falling. It felt good, as if I was going to be a little bit better off by this.

It wasn't going to be working, however. I wanted to hide away. From everything. Even now, the only thing that lightened my small area was a single candle, flickering back and forth, barely bright enough to allow me to read said letter. Picking up the letter, I held it just above the candle, about to let it burn, watching as the corner near your name slowly began to turn black. But I couldn't do it, I tugged it back from the offending fire, and clutched it to my chest right above my heart. I can't believe this has happened, but I was going to be all right. I hoped so atleast. Everyone said that this would get better, but it would be hard and a long journey. I truly hoped that it was true.

_/Would it help if i turned a sad song on  
"All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that you're gone  
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters  
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better  
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way/_

I blew the candle out, no longer wishing to be seen in the illumination of such a thing. I closed my eyes for a brief moment, allowing for my breathing to even out somewhat. I took a few deep breaths, wiping the trails on my cheeks. They were still wet, and it amazed me that they had actually come from my eyes. Never before had I cried like this. Hell, I'd never cried at all. But this was just so...painful. That was the only word to describe his treatment. His...leaving me.

Crying like that had made me feel inexplicably weak. Like I had allowed myself to be open to the world and now everyone would see the real me that had been hidden for so long. I hated the thought. That I would be so open as this that I would be so...weak. I was comforted only by the fact that after finding out about this, KoEnma had released me from the missions. I was FREE. Free from Kurama and free from anyone else that might ask for an explanation.

Without even looking in a mirror-of which there was a short supply in my home- I could tell that I looked like nothing better then shit. My eyes felt raw and puffy. They were most likely red. My head pounded against my skull as if I had just been whacked about the head a multiple number of times. I managed to struggle to my feet, hands gripping my head as I was sure I could literally feel my brain pulsing against my skull.

Somehow, I had managed to pull myself to my feet, making my way toward the room that had served as my bedroom while I was here. My sadness combined with the drunkenness of my body caused me to be unable to walk very straight, but I somehow managed to get myself to my room and collapsed upon the bed. With the last bit of my strength, I pulled my exhausted body to the pillows crowning the top of my bed. With an exhausted sigh I closed my eyes taking a few deep breaths as I allowed exhaustion to sweep over me.

When I reopened my eyes, I could nearly have died for there on the side table was a picture of us. I hadn't known-at the time-that you had taken it. You were smiling slightly, somehow managing to do that and kiss me at the same time. Yusuke had jumped out, taking the picture, and I was blushing horribly trying to stop you from taking this picture. A small smile slipped over my features as I remembered the time. Taking the picture from the side table, I pulled it against my chest, cradling it against me as well as Kurama's picture and that was how I slept for the rest of the night until tomorrow.

_/I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show  
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self control  
But I'm just strong enough to let go of my pain  
To Hell with my pride let it fall like rain  
From my eyes  
Tonight i wanna cry_

_I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show  
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self control  
But I'm just strong enough to let go of my pain  
To Hell with my pride let it fall like rain  
From my eyes  
Tonight i wanna cry/_

_XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx_

_Thanks for reading, and I hope against the you review. I know it was short, so...if I get enough reviews, I might add a second chapter._


	2. Chapter 2

_Wheeee! Chapter TWO! O It's amazing, I know. I said I wasn't going to continue it, but everyone said that they wanted to know what Kurama could have done to make everything from the first story could have happened after that letter, so this is my explanation. Yah._

_Thanks to all of my reviewers,_

_TenshiSakuraTakai- My first Reviewer! And the only one to have read chap. two so far. O_

_Yuki-Amida- Second reviewer, yay I made someone else cry. D That was the whole point._

_shiorifoxiesmom- You were the one that had wondered about how it went from the letter to Kurama leaving him, so here is the explanation._

_Shiva-iceflame- Eh? I'm glad you liked it, and I'm sorry I made you cry. -looks sad- But I wanted to do it._

_So here it is:_

**Tonight I Wanna Cry- Chapter 2  
By: Rakki-gesakusha**

Kurama's point-of-view

The day had started out basically the exact same as all of the others. I had been awoken for school, my last day for this week, and I was looking forward to spending the weekend with my koibito. Speaking of Hiei, he would be back soon. My heart leapt at this realization. I would be able to see him again after almost a month of being apart. My heart sobbed at the distance that had separated us, and I couldn't wait for the time when I came home, seeing you waiting in my window, and to be waiting in my bed, asleep from the wait I must force between us. I am most hesitant to be leaving for school, wanting to be here the second you arrive to greet you, but that would have to wait. We had both agreed that our relationship will not affect my schoolwork, and I am going to uphold this agreement no matter what.

Pushing a few more books into my shoulder bag that carried all of my items, I disappeared to cleanse myself wanting to be rid of the germs that could climb upon the sleeping body and more importantly of those which your body had once more caused me to bring about. Another dream. Damn my human body. It was still in the phase of teenager while my demonic side was much farther along. I climbed into the shower once it had been turned on rather hot all the while cursing the hormones that raged through my human side, and thanking the gods that I would soon enough have company in my showers.

A small smile came across my features as I remembered the first time you had agreed to take a shower with me. Mm...perhaps agreed wasn't the best word, but I shall use it nonetheless. You had been dirty, to much so for me to permit into my bed for the night. Training I believe was your excuse. You had kicked and screamed even going as far as to threaten to never allow us to mate again, but I knew that was an empty threat it would be as hard for you as me. I had never known that you hated water so. I think you were convinced that it would be cold like the rain you detested, but once I finally got you undressed and finally into said shower, you just stared at me looking very perplexed and wearing the most adorable expression of surprise that truly made you look like a child. Finally after a few moments, you said surprise and awe evident in your voice "Kurama it's _WARM_." Your wide-eyed expression was just to funny, and I began laughing. That instantly calmed you and you glared with one of those 'what-are-you-laughing-at?-I-don't-find-anything-funny' looks that tells me that you know I'm laughing at you.

It was now that I decided to share my deep well of knowledge regarding the ningen term "shower" and another perplexed look came over your face as you seemed amazed by such a thing. But I was done explaining, I had quickly removed my clothing and climbed in with you. I quickly washed down your body and your hair -which now smelled like strawberries my personal choice for shampoos- and allowed you to do the same for me, helping you with my hair.

Suddenly, I was jolted out of my daydream -or would this technically be a morningdream?- by the feel of ice cold water running down my skin. Surely I hadn't been unfocused so long? Huffing a slight sigh of annoyance, I quickly washed myself and got out. What I met once I was clothed in a towel I didn't like. Standing in the center of my room, having come from the window if an open window were any indication, was a guard and I was SURE it was from Mukuro. My heart sank as I took the letter outstretched in the guards hand. "From Lord Hiei." He told me, not quite keeping his eyes off of me. I didn't even bother to let him know that I noticed his wandering eyes, for I was to busy tearing the letter open.

I read the letter quickly before rereading it.

It read as follows;

_Kurama,_

_I know that it is awful for me to tell you this, but I can't make it back today. I know I promised to be back by now, but it simply can't be done. Mukuro needs me to help her destroy a band of rogue demons that threaten her lands. As soon as this task is completed I will be back to you._

_I really wish this could be changed, but it won't work. Mukuro doesn't trust anyone else to lead her guards, and I know I should be happy that I am trusted so, but I know you will be upset that I have to back out of our agreement._

_This should only take about two weeks at the most. I will be back as soon as possible._

_ Hiei_

Another full two weeks at the most without my Hiei? Giving a soft sigh, trying to convince myself that everything would be all right, I looked to the guard. "Tell him I understand." I truly didn't but I understood the position in which Hiei had been put by that bionic bitch. I really couldn't help but feel horrible at this moment.

I wanted Hiei back with me now, and part of my human side wished to complain of this. To cry it out as us humans sometimes did when things bothered us, but my demonic side -the proud Youko, Kurama- would never allow such an act. With a nod the guard disappeared, going to give Hiei the news that I had accepted. Perhaps Hiei would know that I DIDN'T accept? I doubted it. Hiei would just assume that I accepted enough for him to return in two weeks time. It was the way Hiei's mind worked, and I had accepted it as it was.

Once assured that I would now be left alone, I removed the towel dressing myself in the odd colored school uniform. It was a strange color, and it kind of clashed with my own bright hair, but I liked it. This morning though, it was the farthest thing from my mind. Two more weeks before I would be able to see Hiei much less hold him. Hiei was the strangest person when it came to being held. Sometimes, he hated it and wouldn't allow me to even when we were alone, but at other times he wouldn't allow me to let him go. I preferred when he was the latter, for I loved holding him.

Sighing lightly, I told myself to be patient that in two weeks, I would be able to hold him as much as I wanted, and I couldn't care less if it would be allowed or if he would fight to escape my grasp. I didn't believe that you would, for I knew that you liked me holding you just as much as I liked to hold you, you just weren't that much of a cuddly demon.

Picking up my shoulder bag, I managed to get my self into a calm enough state to make it so my mother didn't notice anything amiss. I even managed to pull out a smile. Grabbing a quick bite to eat and a quick drink, I managed to leave without her suspecting anything. Heading towards school, I carefully readied myself for a long day of boring classes and girls giggling and acting like complete idiots to try and get my attention. Though I must admit it does work, but not in a particularly good way.

I was about half way through my classes -and very proud of myself to have kept my mind off of Hiei- but that ended in my math class. The boredom -even as I fought to keep it off- overwhelmed me, and before I could stop it thoughts of you had made it's way inside of my brain. It provided me with images of what we had done together. The first time I had mated with you -you had been so shy in asking for it-, the time I had taught you to cook ningen food, especially ramen. Everything the two of us had ever done -and even hopes of what we will do in the future- came into thought and before I knew it, I was overwhelmed by the need to take care of my loneliness. Needless to say, by the end of the day I was downright desperate.

I walked through the group of giggling girls, not giving so much as a peek nor smile like I usually did. I think they figured out that something was wrong, for they slowly departed leaving me to my loneliness. All but a few departed me, and I was thankful.

Soon enough, I believed I had left them all behind. That was until I caught sight of the one. The clothing she wore was probably the most outrageous sight, and yet I felt drawn to it. She wasn't ugly, I could tell even under all the leather and black make-up. Eyes of the loveliest hazel stared out at me, and I could feel myself being drawn in. Even the thick black coloration about them drew more beauty to the eyes. She was rather gifted as far as a chest went, her leather corset more then showing this off. A tight black skirt clothed her lower half, going only to mid-thigh, not even, and thigh high boots covered her legs which were slim. I knew she was flaunting, and only trying to get with me, but Youko hissed to me that this was what I needed. What I wanted. Surely Hiei wouldn't care? He didn't even have to know. Actually, in a way she reminded me of my Hiei. Her dark choice in clothing, the confidence with what she spoke and moved, even her icy outer shell. Her underlying beauty was just like my Hieis. Their beauty was beneath the hardest core that they could create apparently. They were beautiful in an exotic way that got Kurama that caught Kurama and wouldn't let go. Perhaps that was why this had happened.

She must have been enjoying my wandering eyes, for when I finally settled upon her face again, she had a smirk settled on those beautiful lips. I had expected some sarcastic comment about my eyes wandering or some such thing, but instead I got "What's eatin' you?"

Now, I was the smartest teenager at a select highschool, and I could think of nothing more to do except blink stupidly at her. She gave a small frown, like she was smelling something nasty, and this was when I realized I hadn't responded. "Oh, uh...the person I am with is gone for now, and they won't be coming back longer then expected." Before I even realized it, the truth had spilled out, atleast I hadn't told her about Hiei, that he was a guy. Being gay was not very acceptable in the human world.

She then turned her lips back into that smirk of hers, "Poor you." Ah, there was the sarcasm, right on schedule. "Perhaps you can find someone else to...'fill her place' while she is gone?" I didn't know for sure, but I think she might have been hinting at it. Oh, Kami how the thought made me feel better. "Mm...perhaps." Judging on her response would tell me if she was hinting at it, or if she was telling me in her own private way to get myself a whore.

She gave me a smirk now, whispering now in a low voice, "There's a place down the street." My only thought at the moment was; When had she gotten so close? Giving my cheek a kiss, she stepped away from me and began down the sidewalk, and looking over her shoulder to see if I would follow.

I don't know what made me do it, but I followed after her entering a club whose name I'd never remember, and found myself in a private back room. She smirked slightly, seeing that I had made good on her subtle offer.

Everything after this is a bit hazy, until later.

xXxXxXxXxXx A few hours later xXxXxXxXxXx

My eyes feel heavy, but I felt very, very good. I took a relaxing breath, and my eyes slid close. Why keep them open? I couldn't see anyway. But then, I remembered what had happened and my eyes opened. I looked around me, and saw that I was still in that private room. Everything looked in order. That girl -whoever her name was- was gone. The room was lit only enough to keep it so that I didn't have to worry about being awoken about it. My clothes were...wait...where were my clothes?

I looked all over the room, and couldn't see them, I even reached out to turn on one of the lights finding that not even the extra light helped. Frowning I wondered what was going on. Before I could even get out of the bed, a voice caught my attention. A voice that made my entire body feel like it had been just dunked into ice water. "Looking for these?" My clothing was tossed from a corner, I couldn't yet see who it was that stood there, but I didn't need to see.

As the clothing floated to land on the bed before me, I tried desperately to make my mouth work. "Hiei...?" I could have cursed myself, for my voice sounded weak even to me. I was expecting for a silver sword, slashing into my gut to be my answer, but it wasn't. Red eyes focused on mine, and the hurt I saw in them was enough to make me regret even leaving the house this day. "Why?" I could feel it. The unspoken hurt behind each single letter. The massive amount of pain that had been forced into that single syllable. I also could tell the hundreds of questions forced into the simple word. Why? Why indeed. Now that I thought about it, the reasons I had given were stupid. They were not reasons, but excuses.

I could do naught but look at the floor who I discovered was a carpet of a grayish coloration with all kinds of odd...things in it. "Why what, Hiei?" I whispered. I chanced a glance up at him, and I saw the hurt and pain in those beautiful eyes of his double, no triple. I was so stupid to have said that. Why had I?

Finally coming from the shadows, I knew that it would be now. That he would kill me now. But instead I was met with a shaking voice that didn't match the always calm, always serious fire koorime. It didn't even match that of the shy lover I had come to know. It was shaking as he yelled at me, yelled what I should have known. "Why are you here? Why did you do that? Why were you cheating on me? Why did I trust you? Just, WHY Kurama!" I was at a loss for words. But what, truly, could I say?

You know how sometimes, you wished the world would just open up and swallow you away never to return? Or how you would die in one of those tragic events that no one would ever have thought would have happened? I REALLY wanted that right now. I was praying to anyone who would listen at the moment. But I didn't disappear, and I was stuck staring at Hiei who just stared back at me looking like he would cry at any moment.

I slowly crawled to the edge of the bed, ignoring the fact that I was naked. Before I could think to do anything else -like not do what I was going to do- I had tugged Hiei to me, and I held him tightly to me, my hands fighting to hold onto him, fisting his clothing even as he tried to push me away. "Hiei, please forgive me. I don't know what I was doing, I thought you wouldn't be back, so -"

He positively shoved me now, surprising even me. "So that makes it all right?" He yelled at me in anger, though none showed on his face. "I wouldn't come back, and so I would never find out?" He turned his head away, and mumbled softly so that I could barely hear. "I thought you loved me." Those words alone caused my heart to freeze. My breathing simply wouldn't work now, which really sucked for after this statement had been said, you turned and left. You said something over your shoulder, a sarcastic remark of hoping I had enjoyed it, but I don't really know. I hadn't even listened. I couldn't get over what you had said, and that you were walking away.

Finally, after you had closed the door behind you, I found my voice. "Hiei! Wait! I do love you!" Hiei didn't hear me. Closing my eyes, I got my clothes back on. Was it possible to be as crazy about being clean as I was, and even still be dirty? I felt it. I felt like something totally disgusting. _You ARE though_. A little voice whispered in the back of my mind, and I told it to shut up.

Many stumbles and wrong turns later, I was finally home. I listened to my mothers concerns about my being late, then he concerns over my not responding, and finally to her concerns about my health and sending me upstairs to go lie down. I did so happily, falling instantly into a deep sleep.

Tomorrow...That was the day that I would get my Hiei back. I would win him back, and show him that I had made a mistake, and that I still loved him. Tomorrow. I rest assured, knowing that tomorrow was the day I would get my lover back.

xXxXxXxXxXx The next morning xXxXxXxXxXx

I got up early, going to see KoEnma. He had no news on Hiei, but he did tell me that Hiei would be either at Mukuros, or at the house he had managed to get a hold of in the Makai. After telling me how to get there from Mukuros, he questioned why I wanted Hiei. It took a bit before he would be able to coax it out of me, but I explained, and KoEnma wished me luck, telling me that it was going to be hard to get Hiei back no matter how much I loved him.

I nodded, but I was to busy getting ready to leave for the Makai and Mukuro's palace to be able to listen fully. Once in the Makai, I was relieved that KoEnma was able to get me close to Mukuro's palace, being able to find out that the may or may not be there as quickly as possible was the top thing on my to-do list.

Mukuro's greeting for me was the farthest from nice. She told me Hiei wasn't back, and that he had left babbling something about how he was to worried about how upset I was to be able to stay. He had promised to be back by now, that he would make sure he was back and that he had only wanted to spend the night with me because he knew that I had lied about my feelings. Well, if that didn't make me feel like a heartless fool, nothing would. She also said, that it was my fault and such things in a rant that lasted for about a full hour or so. By then end of it, I was very ready to be pulling out my long locks.

I apologized profusely -believing it was the only way to get away- and told her that I promised to have Hiei come back soon. I made my depart once more, heading now in the direction of Hiei's apparent house. I was surprised that it wasn't in some distant part of the Makai. It was actually a little bit away from Mukuros palace. Though the closer I came to it, the more I understood. The area I entered through was so thick with vegetation, that I was convinced one could not be able to get through unless they took to the treetops which was Hiei's choice route. Had I not been able to simply have the plants move out of my way, I surely would have had a hard time getting there.

Finally after what felt like ten hours, I arrived at the door. I didn't know what I was going to say, or if Hiei would even answer the door. But I knew I had to try. Fisting my hand, I knocked gently on the door, my hand striking it a little harder each time so I could be sure Hiei heard me. After a few loud raps with my knuckle, I waited for Hiei to answer the door. My heart was pounding so hard against my chest I thought it would burst.

I was about to turn away, I had actually turned away, when I heard the door open and that voice call my name. "...Kurama...?" I turned back, and nearly felt my heart stop. Hiei looked absolutely adorable even though his eyes were puffy and red -had he actually been crying?- and his cheeks were tearstained. I caught sight of a picture of us in his hand and a letter I had written to him. Staring at the rumple clothed demon I felt my heart break -yet again- for what I had done. But Hiei was not going to come crawling back to him. "What are you doing here?" I could now smell the sake upon his breath, and I was stunned. Hiei'd been drinking. I managed to keep my thoughts focused though.

"Hiei...I need to talk to you."

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_Heehee, evil cliffy. >3_

_There will of course be more! What kind of person would I be if I just LEFT you guys there. -laughs- So, yup._


	3. Chapter 3

_Heehee, Rakki-Gesakusha here! I know I have taken so long to update the story, but I couldn't help it. I have had a lot going on. Exams to study for. Algebra to try and pass and last but not least, my favorite grandmother is in the hospital. I also have another story I am trying to finish. It is an original and will not be put on here most likely. Anyway, I hope you guys like the fic and I also hope you will review. As always, I want to give a shout-out to all of my reviewers and to say thank you to everyone who read the story, and a special thanks to those who took the extra time to review it._

_Jessica: Thanks, and I am really sorry it took me so long to post another chapter. I hope that this one is as good._

_Shiva-iceflame: Why thank you, and I am so glad that you liked it. _

_Yuki Amida: I hope you like chapter three just as much._

_Now, onto the story._

**_Tonight I Wanna Cry- Chapter Three  
By: Rakki-Gesakusha_**

**XxXxXxXxXx Hiei's POV xXxXxXxXxX**

Talk? TALK? What could we possibly need to talk about? Kurama had cheated on me with some human girl whose name he didn't even know. Was I really worth so little to him? He had told me that I wasn't, he had told me that I was the best thing to ever happen to him ever, but how could the best thing to ever happen to him be so easily replaced by some cheap whore? My mind ached from trying to figure out this question. Or perhaps it was a mixture of that and the definite hangover that I had gotten from last night. Whatever it was, it was making me feel horrible, but no where near as bad as what he had done to me. "I have absolutely nothing to say to you Kurama." My tone made me feel proud. No shaking whatsoever. It stayed perfectly calm even as your name left my lips and I could feel my heartbreak. Never again would I utter that name as a friend, as a lover. From now on it would be the name of an enemy. An enemy that must be kept at a distance for he would cause the most damage to me if he got the chance. What you had left me with -or perhaps taken away from me- was more then enough as far as I was convinced.

I saw a flicker of pain there in his beautiful emerald eyes, but I forced myself to turn away from him. I was ready to disappear inside my home. To curse the gods for bringing about this new form of torture. Did they REALLY have to make Kurama come to me like this? To make it so that I was forced to look upon the object of my desires and know that, even though I believed he had been perfect for me, I couldn't live up to what he had wanted in a lover. I had tried, and I had been found wanting when it came to Kurama. I suppose I shouldn't be suprised. The kitsune was brilliant and not to mention gorgeous. Why, then, would he want someone like ME? All I could do was just accept that although I loved him still -and probably always would- It meant little to him.

I had changed so much for him though. I had fought against every fiber in me to allow him to hold me. I disliked feeling like I was in a cage, and each time I was wrapped up in his arms, I was giving myself to him and trusting him fully. Perhaps he didn't understand that. The entire way, I put myself in his hands and I trusted him to take care of me and not hurt me. I had changed in not liking to be touched. I still didn't like it, but I knew how much he had seemed to love holding me, and so I allowed it. Was I truly so gullible as that?

Without much of any other thought, I had turned and was currently closing the door in his face, but he stopped me. He put his foot in front of the door, making a door jam. I was fully ready to open the door more then to slam it down upon his foot, finding a little bit of solace in that kind of act, but he stopped me from doing this too. His hand came out, catching the top of my door and holding it in just the position that my height would work against me. By now I was beginning to feel quite aggravated, and giving a low huff, I turned my eyes up to him and set a glare on him. "Haven't you hurt me enough?" The second the words left my mouth I regretted them. He would leave now, tell me some horrible truth that will send me back into tears with it regarding how he had only wanted me as a bed toy or something that will damage the remaining sanity I have left and send my swirling into a fog of confusion and suicide.

What did happen though stunned me. Kurama actually looked like HE was gonna tear up on me -on which occasion I would just shove him away, tell him he deserved it, and slam my door- but he said, "Hiei, I didn't mean to hurt you like that. If I could take it back, you have to know that I would." He stared at me pleadingly. He really wanted to talk to me, didn't he? My heart tugged at me, whispering into my head in the most soothing of voices that I should let him in. I was still against it, before Kuramas voice once more reached me. "Please Hiei...I will understand if you still hate me, but I need you to know that I am sorry!"

Turning my eyes from the others face not wanting to see his reaction, or wanting him to know how confused about all of this I felt. I stepped away from the door, leaving it open for the other to come into my home. I was unsure about this. Kurama was very good at persuasion. What if he talked me back into trusting him? Then, surely, I would only end up getting hurt again. I don't think that I would be able to handle if that would happen, but the least you deserved was a chance to apologize. That was what I deserved, at the very least.

So I had let you into my home, leading you over to the room where I had, only the night before, cried to myself as I drank myself into a beautiful dream. I don't remember, exactly, what the dream had been, but I know that I hadn't wanted to wake up. The room was very clean except for the half burnt candle sitting in one corner and the sake bottles around that area. There were many many sake bottles, more then I remembered drinking. I took a seat in a chair that sat across from another one much like it. I hated regular ningen chairs for I couldn't get particularly comfortable in them. So these chairs were a bit different. They were a bit -actually a lot- wider then the regular chairs found in the human world. They were wide enough in fact that I could probably fit about three or four others on one of them. But I watched carefully that Kurama would not try to drop into a seat besides me. I didn't trust him. I was rather relieved when he dropped in the identical chair across the way.

As he sat down, I locked my eyes on him. He had caused this, he had come here, he would start talking. After a few moments of our useless staring contest he seemed to understand this for he gave a small sigh and said "I suppose that I should just get to the point." I nodded, finding nothing more to add to this conversation at the moment. "I know that what I did was wrong, Hiei. I don't even know why I did it." He began with a simple entrance. I tried not to show any emotion, I think I did good, and just listened to whatever load of...garbage he had to say.

"I know that no reasoning would be able to explain what I did, and I fear that my reasons weren't reasons at all. They were excuses. But I will tell them to you anyway, and I hope that you'll be able to understand where I was coming from and to hopefully forgive me." Another silence. As far as I was concerned, there was nothing Kurama could say or do that would get me to forgive him. But I was willing to listen to him at least for now.

He seemed to know that nothing he could say would make me forgive him, for he glanced at me for a moment, giving a swallow before he decided to continue. "I was looking forward to you coming home. I had missed you so much, and when I found out that you weren't coming home...I don't know I just..." His voice faded, and judging from how he was looking at me, he expected me to say something in response.

I didn't.

Taking a breath he continued, "Well, I tried to make it through school as best as I could, and I did really well until half way through the day. Then I just couldn't stop thinking about you and I felt so lonely. I needed to see you, I wanted you to be home so badly. I felt really really lonely knowing that you wouldn't be there with me.

"Even the girls in my school had noticed something odd about me." He continued on with his story. "All of them soon left me alone except for one. I don't even know her name. But she kind of reminded me of you." I stiffened angrily, and he must have noticed for he paused but only for a brief moment before he hastened to explain what he had meant. "I mean, her personality. She was rather cold and sarcastic to me, but beneath her cold outside, she was really quite beautiful." Was that supposed to make it BETTER? He had just called her "beautiful." I gave him an angry glare, and I was very, very close to telling him to get out of my house and to just leave me alone. "No, Hiei that's not what I meant!" He cried, sounding alarmed.

Hm, this was kind of amusing, but I couldn't let him do this for much longer. Frowning, I waited for him to continue his story. "All right, um...oh, well she said that she could help make me feel a little better. I wasn't thinking Hiei. I made excuses that you wouldn't even know, and that you would understand that it didn't mean anything. That she was just some horrible lay." He told me. Once he finished this, he sat quietly and a little impatiently, I could tell, for me to reply.

He waited for a while.

Finally I felt all right enough to reply. "That doesn't change what you did." It was simple, and covered all of my feelings at the moment. Nodding his head quickly he opened his mouth to respond to what I had said, but I held up a hand for him to be silent. "Nothing will ever be able to make up for what you did, and I hope you know that. No reason, no excuse will change what you did." His head bowed and I knew that he understood. "And, if I ever did forgive you, then I want you to know that my trust would never be the same in you again. I probably wouldn't forgive you, nor could I ever trust you again."

I got a somber response of, "I understand." I watched him silently reflecting on how much it hurt to hear my own words, but I had to do this. Kurama didn't take me seriously. I had loved him terribly, and he hadn't reciprocated those feelings in the way I had thought that he should. I wasn't a genius on how a relationship worked, but I knew that that was a large part. To understand someone's feelings for you and to feel the same way and to feel that way about them ONLY. "But Hiei, I didn't love her, or care for her or anything. I don't even know her name. It doesn't make what I did any better, but I guess I am just hoping that you would understand." He pressed. Nibbling on his bottom lip slightly, which was probably the cutest thing I've seen him do in a long time, "Surely you've felt that way before. I mean, I'm sure you've thought about Mukuro or someone this way when you were away from me."

That was the last straw. I was so close to hitting him now I couldn't even explain it. "Get out of here." I tried to shout, scream, terrify him to death, but my voice came out in the feeblest of whispers. "Get away from me." He realized now what he had just said had ruined any and every chance of me forgiving him. "Hiei...-?"

"Get out!"There was the scream I had wanted earlier. I found myself on my feet, my blood was pumping through my entire body, and I didn't even realize having stood up, it was only a faint thought in the back of my mind. "How could you even...?" My breathing was heavy and it gave in short gasps, like I had just ran all over the Makai without a single stop at breakneck speed. I couldn't get a full lung of air at the moment.

"Hiei..." His voice came out pleading, and they matched his eyes perfectly. To the point of where I froze for a brief moment. My eyes locked on his, and it was the worst thing I could possibly have done. I was lost in his eyes, the deep emerald sucking me in like some type of tar or something, drawing me in and not releasing me. Slowly my breathing returned and he gently took my hand, drawing me towards him. I hesitated for a brief moment, trying to draw away, but he just drew me in more with his eyes and gently tugged my hand a bit more, drawing me towards him until I finally collapsed against him. In a strange way, all the dizzying feelings that I had been feeling had drained away, and I felt sudden relief. My face was buried against his chest, and he held tightly to me, not letting me go though being here reminded me of things in the past that had felt wonderful. All of the times when I had believed he had loved me. I didn't want to move yet.

"I'm so sorry Hiei. I just thought that...maybe you had...thought of Mukuro as a way to ease your pain."

"Never." I whispered back. "I just waited until I was back here."

"...I didn't mean to upset you." One of his arms was kept tightly around me, the other had come up stroking my hair in the most soothing gesture I had ever felt. I didn't want to leave, and yet something smarter, but smaller, in the back of my mind was telling me to move. To get out of his grasp. "I just thought that you had, at some point, stayed in Mukuros bed."

"She wanted me to, I wouldn't allow it." I admitted quietly. "I think that was why she kept me away so long from you. To try and make it more enticing for me." I told him quietly. I had turned my head so that my cheek pressed firmly against his chest right over his heart. I could hear it beating below my ear and my eyes closed slightly. His hand was gently brushing away the hair from my eyes, stroking the bare skin of my upper forehead before sliding across the fabric of my bandana.

It was right at this point that I realized something. I didn't change myself because he liked to hold me. I changed myself because I liked to be held by him. I hadn't realized it before, but now that I had lost him, I guess it only made sense that I realized it. My eyes slid closed and I fought hard to control myself.

"Well, her plan worked." I heard him return to me. "Though not in the way I think she would have preferred it." I didn't understand and so I looked up to him a questioning look on my face. "Well, Hiei, I believe she did this to drive a stake between our relationship, wanting to make you come to her, and to get me jealous or angry with you. Her plan backfired and happened backwards." He explained, looking down at me.

I was silent. I didn't know what to say now. I knew that this would have to end with me saying good-bye to Kurama. I turned my eyes away looking instead to his shirt, then to the chair upon which was sat. "Uh...Kurama..." I began, and I felt his hand freeze. I could almost curse myself. I can't do this. But I have to.

"Yes, Hiei?" He whispers. I can almost hear the hurt...and fear in his voice. Is that truly fear? Did Kurama truly know what I was going to say and was he afraid of it.

Pulling away, I looked up to him. I tried to avoid his eyes, but before I even spoke I found myself locked on them, losing myself in the Emerald depths once more. "We can't do this." I told him. "I can't constantly think that you are cheating on me. Or thinking that if I don't see you every few weeks, that you will go and sleep with some girl from your school or something."

Kurama looked at me, apparently thinking about this. "Hiei I won't." He pleaded, but I put my fingers to his lips, silencing him quickly. It didn't keep him silent for long. He quickly continued on. "Please, Hiei. I will wait until Mukuro is gone. Until you either leave her services, or until you finally take over as her heir. I don't want to have to leave you." The look he gave me as he stared back slowly my denial. "Please Hiei. We can stay apart for as long as you want. We cannot even be together as a couple until you can live with me again, or I can come back out here with you. I am willing to do anything."

I eyed him for a moment, noting how badly he seemed to want me to agree. "Will you wait until I am finished with Mukuro's business?"

A nod.

"Will you not even look at another human?"

"Yes, Hiei."

"You won't sleep with anyone else and you will wait for me no matter how long I take?"

"Yes."

"Even if that would be years?"

"Yes, Hiei!" He sounds impatient now. "Do you accept?" He is pleading with me now, and he watches me looking at me with the face of an impatient child.

I am silent for much to long for his liking for he repeats my name. "Hiei?" I can hear the begging tone. "Do you agree?"

Slowly I nod, "Yes, Kurama." I agree in a whisper. If we aren't truly together, then I don't have to worry about him hurting me, and if Kurama came all this way to see me and to try to win me back, he must have some feelings for me. Maybe these can be changed to be as deep as my own.

He doesn't seem to hear me and so I say it louder.

"Yes, Kurama. I will trust you one last time."

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Like WOH-my-God. Chapter three is finished! Can you all believe it? I can't either! Well, I hope you enjoy. Please send replies to tell me if you thought it was good or if you thought it sucked.

Vote: Should I continue and add one more chapter? (It will tell what happens when they are finally "together")

Yes, or no?

Send me a reply at either my Email, IM, or via a review. Thanks a lot and I hope you enjoyed the story.


	4. Chapter 4

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Wow! I can't believe it guys! Chapter four! This is the very last chapter, and I hope you guys all enjoyed my "one-shot." Though it truly wasn't one at all! I will not be writing more on this story, but I will be writing others, so keep checking back . I know this is probably the worst chapter but, to my credit, it IS the longest!

Thanks again to all of my faithful reviewers;

Jessica; Hope this was fast enough for you! Thanks for the reviews and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Annoying Little Twit; Mm...thanks. I am glad you liked it as well. 3 Hope this is just as good to you.

Zodiac Eclipse; Bah! I am ecstatic you enjoyed it so, and I am very emberrased right now. (No really! I am. I've never had such nice things said about my writing.) I worked super hard to keep Hiei as in character in this as posiable, and I am thrilled that so far people think it is good. Yay! I hope you enjoy this chapter as well!

Tonight I Wanna Cry; Chapter 4  
By: Rakki-Gesakusha

Nearly twelve years had passed since their conversation. Kurama had returned to the human world and had finished up his schooling. He was now a highly prized teacher of an eleventh-grade class, having chosen to do that year over any other. He would have been able to teach college, but he had decided not to. He liked that grade out of all of the others. Him and Hiei had met at that stage of his human life. Speaking of Hiei, the little demon was now a strong high s-level demon. His training with Mukuro had paid off as far as he was concerned. If he was any closer to finishing off as taking over for Mukuro, he never told Kurama. He used to, but now the letters they sent to one another was much more vague about that issue. Kurama couldn't tell if it was because he was sick of waiting, or because he had already taken over.

They passed letters nearly every week, more often when one was stressed. In the last six or seven years, they hadn't seen each other. Kurama still looked rather young, the twelve years not having affected his beauty. True he didn't look like the seventeen year old teenager that he had been, he still looked a bit young to be his age of twenty-eight. From what he knew of the demonic blood though, Hiei would have remained relatively unaffected by the passing of time. Perhaps he had gotten taller. Then again, he loved having Hiei so short. It would be strange seeing a tall Hiei. He might not even like it.

Neither one had betrayed the other in the last twelve years. Hiei still to deeply in love of Kurama, and Kurama to afraid of hurting the one that he too loved again. Yes, the last six or so years had been very, very hard since he didn't see Hiei. Six years, or 2190 days, was not easy to get through without seeing the one that you loved. Somehow though, both had managed.

It was the at about the middle of a particularly long day when Kurama, who was currently in the middle of a math session, was interrupted by a knock on the door. Looking to the door, he saw the flash of a familiar face. Outside of his door stood the pointed face of the secretary, her medium-length mousy brown hair framing the large blue eyes. Sighing slightly, he set the book down on his desk, finished writing out the math problem that he had been in the middle of on the board and told his students to begin the practice questions. Once free of these things, he moved to the door, opening it only wide enough so that he could peek out and whisper to her that he was busy. "I think you'll want to see this person. He says its very important." He told him, an apologetic tone in her voice.

Another sigh was heard from the red head as he straightened and stepped out the door. He began heading towards the office where all people waited. _It's probably a parent...I don't think anyone is upset though.._.His mind however suddenly shut off as they landed on the form that stood against the lockers. Almond shaped red eyes stared back at him, amusement on his features, and it took a few moments for Kurama to realize that his mouth was hanging open. It took even longer for him to actually close it. Even though the other was wearing the human clothing, he could tell easily who it was. Not even six years had muddled his image of Hiei. The secretary believed her work was done -which it was- and she gave Kurama a slight bow before returning to her post in the office.

"Hiei?" A smirk and a nod was his reply. Kurama couldn't believe it. After six years, Hiei was back for him. He could barely control the urge to hug him, though doing so in the middle of a high school would definitely start some unwanted rumors. "It's been six years Hiei." The soft-toned red head murmured, his eyes focusing in on the red ones. "Why so long?" He questioned him, wondering at what could have kept Hiei away for so long.

"Actually its been six years, seven months, and eleven days." He murmured dryly Kurama's face reacting in surprise. "I used to count the hours too, but it only made it seem longer. I stopped a while back." Kurama nodded his head in understanding, or perhaps in agreement. Hiei had counted how long they had been apart? He felt so touched. But still, he had offered countless times to make plans for the two of them to meet over the last six years, and each time Hiei had claimed to be to busy to come and see him. Had he truly been to busy, or had he simply decided that he didn't want to see Kurama anymore? What if he had someone else he liked or, even worse, loved? Why, suddenly, had Hiei come to see him anyway? He shouldn't be thinking all of these horrible thoughts about his love, but he had to know why all of the sudden Hiei had come to see him. "I've been busy Kurama." Hiei explained.

Kurama watched him for a some sign of nervousness or something that would point toward the true reasons of Hiei's visit. He found nothing, but he was still convinced that Hiei had come here to tell Kurama that he had found someone else. "Who is it Hiei?" Kurama asked, gaining a strange look from Hiei.

"What do you mean, kitsune?" Hiei asked, looking confused. Kitsune had become a sort of pet name for Kurama as far as Hiei was concerned. Kurama allowed no other to refer to him as anything relating to his fox half, so being able to call him kitsune was something only he was allowed to do. At least for a while that was.

"Don't call me that Hiei." Kurama murmured quietly and he was offered yet another odd look from Hiei. Kurama sighed and he decided that he might as well explain to Hiei that he knew why he was here and such. "It's been six years and seven months or so since we have last seen each other Hiei..." Hiei opened his mouth no doubt to either point out that they both already knew this or to apologize. Either way, Kurama shushed him and continued. "For the entire time, you've claimed that you've been to busy to come and see me, and yet you've suddenly come to see me for no reason? Surely you've come to tell me that you've found someone else and you want to tell me that you don't want to see me anymore. Is that not so?" He questioned.

Hiei looked completely stunned as he shook his head, denying all that Kurama was saying. "No, Kurama, that's not why at all. I've.." But he was cut off.

Kurama had a biting sarcastic tone to his voice as he said, "Surely not, Hiei." He frowned and continued. "How long, Hiei?" He wasn't sure why, but he was to afraid of having Hiei leaving him behind. This fear was causing him to lash out at the other in fear. Surely Hiei would understand such a thing, right?

Apparently he didn't for his eyes soon narrowed in anger and he glared at Kurama. "How could you even think that Kurama?" He sounded angry and...and hurt? Yes, hurt. "If you want to know it was a surprised. I figured that you would be happy to see me." Kurama opened his mouth to say something, most likely to apologize, but now it was Hiei's turn to cut him off. "I really was busy you know! Do you want to know why?" He demanded of the red head. Kurama, unsure if this was a rhetorical question or one that Hiei really wanted an answer to, remained silent. That would probably be the best idea for right now at least. Hiei continued on, whether it was a rhetorical one or not. "I was training someone else to take over for me as the heir to Mukuro's land." He said watching Kurama, a frown still upon his features. "The second Mukuro was gone, I began the training. It began six years ago. Right after the last time we saw each other. I didn't want to see you because I knew that would end up in me telling you of this and I wanted to surprise you. I suprise didn't think it would take so long though."

Kurama was speechless. But, honestly, what response could he have given to that? He opened his mouth then closed it and repeated this once more before deciding to keep his mouth shut. He probably looked like a fish or something. But he wanted desperately to talk to Hiei. To tell him that he was so sorry for ever even thinking Hiei would do a thing like that. How could he have even thought that? He also wanted to tell Hiei that this was the best gift, surprise, that anyone could have possibly given him. Hiei had wanted this for so long. So very long. He had trained to become...someone. He had definitely become someone. He had become ruler of about one-fourth the demonic world! That was truly an accomplishment for the so called "Forbidden Child." who had been spit upon and looked down on for his entire existence right from birth. Few had given him a chance and accepted him as he was. That was his mother, Kurama, their partners and the girls. Hiei had refused to tell Yukina of their relations, but a few years back, Yukina had figured it out. She was overjoyed, despite what Hiei had believed.

Hiei had always spoken of something such as this. A place where his name was feared instead of laughed at. A place where no more was he looked in the face and, only by killing the others, would he be respected by them. This was the things that Hiei would tell Kurama late at night when they were alone and sleep was muddling his brain. When he was already half gone with sleep, he would lie awake and tell Kurama about all the things he would do to prove his worth. He called it his "plan" and lying there, lulled into the images Hiei created for him with his silk-like deep tone, Kurama would believe that they could happen instantly. But always after, when Hiei was gone and Kurama was left to think of these things alone he would realize...that wasn't only Hiei's plan. It was his dream. Others had dreams of being rich or famous or something. All Hiei wanted was respect. Most saw him as some bloodthirsty demon wanting only money and rare items. Kurama saw him as he was. An abused child wanting only the respect someone like himself deserved. Now he had earned it. No...he had long since earned that respect.

But had Hiei really given it all up? Tossed away the name, the power...his dream to stay in the human world, which he hated? Was he really so...wanting of Kurama's presence to leave behind his dream for a life where he would be surrounded by the beings he had hated? Part of him didn't believe this at all. Never would Hiei do something such as this. NEVER. No matter how much his feelings urged him. But apparently he had.

His thoughts were cut off quite suddenly by Hiei's mumble, "Some surprise." Hiei then turned to leave. He had said all that he could possibly say on the subject, and he had gotten no response from Kurama. He might as well leave now, if the kitsune still did not believe him. He had definitely expected a better response from Kurama. But perhaps he had deserved it from him. Six years WAS a long, long time. He gave a slight frown as he felt strong arms slid themselves about his chest preventing him from leaving.

"I'm sorry Hiei, I just assumed..." He fell silent, leaving Hiei to fill in the obvious blank. He then pulled Hiei tighter to him. "It really is the greatest surprise I've ever been given...But I can't allow you to do this. You've wanted this for so long, Hiei. I would feel horrible knowing that I made you leave."

Hiei stared up at him solemnly before he said, "I want this too, Kurama. I wanted to take over for Mukuro before our relationship. If I had taken over for her, we might have never been able to see each other. I want to stay with you Kurama." Hiei told him, a serious looks on his face.

For a long time Hiei waited for Kurama's response. Finally, it came. Though it wasn't exactly what he had expected. "Are you willing to spend your time here...in the human world?" A slight hesitation from Hiei before he nodded his head.

"Yes."

Kurama nodded his head and straightened, releasing Hiei. "I have to get back to my class. Think about this hard, and we can discuss this when I get home." Hiei nodded his head in understanding, and was gone in the blink of an eye.

With a sigh, Kurama slid the door open to his room, his students instantly falling silent from the whispering that they had been doing. They looked guiltily to Kurama expecting to be scolded, but he just told them to continue with the questions in their book before seating himself at this desk.

The last few minutes of class had Kurama as anxious as his students when the bell rang on the very last day of school before summer vacation. It almost felt as if time had slowed down, no...had altogether stopped on him and he was now stuck in the wait of the time he would find out Hiei's answer to the question. He could barely sit still, and whether or not his students noticed or not they were smart enough not to question their teachers sudden anxiousness.

When the last bell finally rang, the last child had left, and the last of his papers had been packed away to be corrected, Kurama was free to go. A bag was at his side, much like the one he had used in school except now it contained papers from his students except for papers for his own teachers. He had a busy night ahead of him, but he didn't want to do those right now. The second he got home, he would be asking Hiei if he knew what he wanted to do. He really hoped Hiei would stay, but if Hiei had decided that he would prefer to stay in the demonic world, then he would prefer it.

The poor fox-turned-human was let down though, for when he finally reached the home...it was empty. No sign of Hiei resided in the place, and the poor red head knew that it was because Hiei was probably still thinking long and hard about it.

It was late when Hiei finally did return, and Kurama nearly tackled him before he could even open the door. Eager green eyes landed on the black haired demon, and Hiei couldn't help but to smirk. "All right, Hiei...did you decide?" Kurama asked, unable to contain himself.

"Well..."Hiei began slowly, purposely taking his time on that single word just to irritate Kurama. "I went to Yukina first to see what she thought... That was the first time I had seen my niece." He told Kurama. Yes...Kuwabara had finally gotten the guts to ask Hiei to allow him to marry his sister, it wasn't until after he had found out that they were related, and Hiei had agreed. He had swore to him though that if Yukina complained of one single thing...Kuwabara would be a dead man.

And so, Kuwabara was now his brother-in-law and he had a sweet little niece fathered by the great oaf. But...she was also the daughter of his sister, and that practically made certain Hiei adored her, which the child had done just as well. As far as Hiei was concerned, his niece was very little of the oaf, having only his blue eyes and -though he'd never admit it outloud- his curious nature. The girl was as sweet and innocent as his sister was, and though she couldn't quite control her ice powers yet, she was only half demon, and they hadn't really bothered Hiei all that much while he had held her.

Despite the fact that Kurama knew he should give Hiei time to explain the story his own way, Kurama was going to explode if Hiei didn't tell him about his decision and SOON! Watching the other intently, he waited for the other to answer more. Hiei almost laughed at the red head trying so hard not to show his eagerness and failing miserably. "Well...I decided...I want to stay here. Atleast for your human life." He explained, causing Kurama to give a cheer of joy. "I talked to Yusuke, and he told me, that he could get me a job. It'll be at a gym that offers sword training...I'd have to be a little slower then normal but..." He shrugged slightly, leaving the end of the sentence for Kurama to finish off. "I figure once you die and most likely be reverted to your demon self, we can return to the Makai."

Kurama had just recently pulled Hiei into a tight hug, holding him close. "I am so glad you agreed to stay. You don't have to get a job." Hiei snorted here, obviously not believing what Kurama was saying, but said nothing. "If you want to you can though. We could probably get by just as well without it...Oh. I'm so happy you agreed to stay here, Hiei." Finally pulling his arms free of the slightly ruffled little fire demon he said, "You do know this means you'll actually have to eat human food." Hiei gave a slight frown causing his red headed lover to chuckle. "Come on, I already started making food."

This was how life for Hiei and Kurama went for the rest of Kurama's human life. Yes...eventually Hiei had to stop working at the gym, for his lover, and eventual husband, had been growing older while he remained unchanged. They had gained enough money, though, to live comfortably for the remaining of Kurama's human life.

Kurama, now at an old age, his brilliantly red hair had become stripped with white. He was actually quite young...only being about 65, but he had decided to move on. Hiei was sitting besides him, not leaving him even though he had agreed to meet Hiei in the demonic world. He would meet him there only after he had passed away. They were currently curled upon the bed...for the last time. Hiei resting with his back against head boards, Kurama head resting on his lap as he stroked the still smooth hair, soothing his lover into a deep sleep.

Hiei didn't mourn as much as he could have, for he still had his lover. He did mourn for Shuichi though. The first human he had actually came to care for. After this moment, Shuichi was gone, he would be with Youko now, if Youko would agree to keep him. The odds were pretty much in his favor, but then again Youko was always a bit...promiscuous.

The green eyes locked onto his for what would be the last time, and then slowly slid closed. For a while, the red heads breathing was even, but slowing at a short pace then stopping entirely. Hiei remained there for a few more moments, stroking his love's hair. He would have to leave soon, if he was to meet Youko, but he just wanted to wait.

Eventually, he pulled himself from beneath the red head. Pressing his lips against the slightly wrinkled forehead before he departed. If he was seen leaving, they might think that it was murder, though it definitely was not. He made his way effortlessly to the portal.

The travel between worlds was simple, as always, as well as uncomfortable. It had been long since he had returned to the Makai...years actually. But he recognized exactly where he was. He wasn't very far from the edge of Mukuro-KoEnma's territory. Almost immediately he turned to feel a familiar ki heading towards him. His eyes landed on the familiar form of his red headed lovers counterpart.

It was a long time before Hiei finally trusted Youko. He hadn't exactly the most trustworthy in his past life, but he had apparently changed as Hiei had found out.

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There you all go! My lovely ending! I hope you guys enjoyed the fic, and more reviews would be adored. I will get to work on another story that I have been wanting to write as soon as possiable! So keep checking back.

Rakki-Gesakusha.


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